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The gift of Trust

Trust is one of the greatest gifts we can give our adult children and one of the most difficult transitions for parents to make. After all, we took care of their every need as babies, kissed the boo boos of our toddlers, coached and directed our school aged children, encouraged and set boundaries for our teens and made so many decisions for our children at each stage of their lives. How then do we release the reigns and carefully launch them on their way? How do we trust that they won’t make mistakes that cause them pain and loss?

As a mother, I remember thinking that no one could ever love my children with the depth of love I felt for them. I could have just breathed them in. I had never felt this type of love for another human being. As the challenges of life happened and I came to the end of myself many times, I learned that I could not have been more wrong. There was one who loved them even more than I did. Our Heavenly Father loves our children with a love we cannot even fathom. He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ to die for us and our children. What greater love could anyone offer? So many times I had to turn the problems my children were experiencing over to our Lord. With all I had to give, I wasn’t enough in some situations. I learned to trust them to God.

Once we rear our children and teach them about Christ, we must trust them to govern their own lives and to go to our Heavenly Father for help before they come to us. One day we will no longer be here and God will always be with them. While we can be on the sidelines to assist if asked, we must let go and allow them to be the wonderful adults we taught them to be. There is no greater gift to give our adult children than to tell them and show them that we trust them to make their own life decisions.

I had a friend who set the perfect example of how to offer the gift of trust to her adult child. Her daughter had just given birth to her first child and was not yet confident of her parenting skills. She asked her mother a question regarding the care of her new infant son. Her mother said, “I trust that you know how to best care for your son. You are going to be a wonderful mother.” The confidence she instilled in her daughter that day was a beautiful thing to see.

While it doesn’t seem quite natural to let go after holding on so tightly for so many years, it is the natural progression of a job well done. Remember, you are not just trusting your child, you are entrusting them to the one who loves them the most. Life with adult children can be the most rewarding stage of parenting. ❤️

Patience


I have often heard it said, “never pray for patience”, for doing so might bring down a world of opportunity to practice. I think this is a funny saying. I’ve found that my relationships with my sweet husband, my family, friends and even strangers gives me a plethora of opportunities to practice patience without asking for more. Marriage and motherhood, inherently have more than enough opportunity for most of us. I’ve never been a very patient person and God is well aware of this fact about me. He has continued to give me PLENTY of opportunities to learn, grow and become refined.

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control” (Galatians 5:22, NIV). Don’t you wish you could walk in the fruit of the Spirit daily? I know I love the days when I am in God’s will and I feel His Spirit leading me. When I feel Spirit-led, I don’t seem to struggle. Life flows almost without effort.

The Bible tells us “Rejoice in hope, be PATIENT in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans:12:12 ESV). This was my daughter Jamie’s life verse. Surely she had more tribulations than most people I have known. Jamie struggled with mental illness. She would often call me when she was in the hospital, where she spent many days in her life, and ask me to pray with and for her. We would pray on the phone. Then she would go and pray with the other patients in the ward with her. Only the Lord knows how many folks Jamie led to Christ in her short life. Jamie loved the Lord and waited patiently for Him to help her and He was faithful. Jamie went to be with the Lord on January 28th, 2011. She was 26 years old. She is in paradise now and will never hurt again. She will cry no more tears. Her example is a great one for the rest of us.

Tribulation…Doesn’t it seem like we always have tribulation? When we break down Romans 12:12, we can’t ignore that it includes hope and prayer. As believers, we have hope that we will survive our tribulations when we give them to God. In addition we have prayer as a weapon, with which, to fight the enemy. We are never alone in our tribulations and and we can trust God to see us through all of them. The spiritual maturity which allows us to sit back, and wait for God’s timing in overcoming our tribulations, will serve us well.

Psalm 37: 7-9 says “Be still before the Lord and wait PATIENTLY for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait on the Lord shall inherit the land.” Again, we are directed to wait on the Lord’s timing. I love this verse! When we are patient we give up the right to be angry with another. This reminds us that this is God’s fight and all we need to do is stand wearing the full armor of God and patiently wait for His resolution to our tribulations.

My husband always instructs me to turn the situation around and put myself in the place of the other person. Wouldn’t I want them to be patient with me? This method works well for me and is biblically sound. “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2 NIV). When I put myself in another’s place I find that I understand better and this increases my patience with this person. We surely want the Lord to be patient with us.

My sweet mother always said, “Lord give me strength” when she was dealing with her children. We were a special kind of trial for her at times. I laugh now remembering her prayer. She wanted to be a good mother and to do the right thing. We all long to do the right thing and to be what God made us to be. Sisters, we are God’s children and His spirit indwells us. We are lacking for nothing we will ever need. We need only ask for His guidance and be willing to do what He instructs us to do, in order to find our patience. Patience is already within us.

God’s blessings on each of you.

Brenda